There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
