oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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