I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
We got so high we made milksteak
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
