She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
