Kiss
Puke
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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