Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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