first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I cockslap morals
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
