Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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