We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
