i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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