I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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