great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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