Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
