Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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