Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
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