can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
