Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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