yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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