Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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