I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
