I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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