Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Randomize
