shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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