how can u be prego again
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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