Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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