I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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