I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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