I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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