Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
