Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
