I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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