my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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