is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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