Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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