It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
