Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
