ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
