dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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