Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Randomize
