Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
