My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
