I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
