can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
