it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
