id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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