so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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