I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
