3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
