i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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