i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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