found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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