Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
